so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
sarcasm needs its own font
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize