Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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