I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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