I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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