i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
