Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
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I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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