You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
