Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
