i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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