I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Small penises have feelings too.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just pee around me
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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