also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
