found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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