it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
