I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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