Just cropdusted the office
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Be still, my beating vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
