That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
