i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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