I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize