Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
