its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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