You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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