So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
