I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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