I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
