i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
