they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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