would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize