i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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