you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
