Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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