i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
