Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize