please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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