I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize