I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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