I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
