I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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