Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
