You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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