Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
