I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize