THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
