He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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