smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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