did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again