Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
