we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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