you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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