I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
