wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
