I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
