She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The beer is more important than you right now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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