When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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