Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
