it was like fucking gandolphs beard
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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