Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
