well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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