I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
