Moan for me like Helen Keller
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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