How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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